In this rainy and gloomy day,

From the St-laurent, the Island of Montreal,

A gentle reminder to all of us...

Surround yourself with positive energy, with positive people, with positive thoughts and prayers.

This is your key to success and self healing. This is your Essence. Get rid of all negativity in your life, in your work and in your circle of people! Surround yourself with People who INSPIRE you (wink wink you know who you are) don't surround yourself with people who drain you and bring you down to your knees. Surround yourself with people who truly love you, care for you and who want the best for you. Not those who envy you, who are jealous, or those who don't wish you success and who always try to make you believe that you are not worth it and that you are good at nothing in this life. Don't you ever allow anyone brake your dreams and burn your motivation. 

Be with those who will love and wish for you, what they love and wish for themselves. The are rare, but there are out there. You are somewhat a reflection of your surrounding and environment. This is why, we must pick up wisely, anyone that we want to include in our lives.

 

Walk in peace my friends,

Nermine Barbouch

Actions matter, not words or degrees

Many were put down by people that we love and even by total strangers for not owning a high degree(s). For not finishing our studies; for not owning a PhD; or for not going to school at all. Then they dare ask you, what have you done to this society? What was your contribution? They are so sure of themselves; so egocentric; so selfish; and so Narcissistic to the point that they can no longer see anything but their own pathetic self. What's your degree or PhD worth if you have no manners, if you have no conscious, no mercy, no shame, no feelings, no heart ...

and then I see people, friends, sisters and even my grandmother, who either did not finish their studies, who don't own a degree at all or who can't read or write a single word and YET, they have made such a difference in this world, they contributed in the society, helping the other, the poor, the needy, the weak, the ill or by simply raising good children and making them loving and caring Humans and citizens of conscious ... giving their children they best they have and giving them what they couldn't have themselves; such as education and knowledge, good time, love and true caring and emotions, discipline hope...

To me, you are worth and you deserve way more than a man in a suit or a woman with a PhD. Many people in my entourage who did not have the opportunity to pursue higher education have accomplished so much in this life: small and big projects, feeding the poor, helping the needy and desperate, saving a life, healing a sick person; making someone smile, saving someone’s soul, helping someone understand, making them feel safe and listened to …

you are the true heroes, you are brave, you are beautiful, you are a blessing, you are an inspiration, you are special, you are unique, you are a role model and you will be remembered for a very very long time. I’m sure that many of you recognise yourselves.

Life is not measured by trophies and by the number of degrees on your wall. Life, success and greatness are measured by your actions, good deeds and your ability in making the other smile, survive and live.  

God bless.

Much respect,

Walk in Peace.

 Nermine

Another TAWAKUL Story

Because I believe in God I therefore believe in Miracles and in His blessings. Because I believe in Him, I do believe in his eternal bounty and in His Mercy. Because I believe in Him, I trust His words and His promises. There comes moments in our lives when certain events "hit" us and keep us in great wonder ... and you ask yourself; what just happened? Is this real? Then you realize that Yes it is real because you put your trust between the hands of The AL Mighty the Creator of All things and He who knows and sees and hears All things. Today, I can humbly say that God sent me a sign. And I will tell you more about it later tonight because I'd like for you and me to strongly believe that acts of kindness are always rewarded , sooner or later ... and sometimes it happens right away; SubhanAllah.

True story:

Those who know me well and know my passions and my struggles will know that I have no reason to `` beautify `` a reality. In other words, they will and I pray that you too will, believe me.

There are days when everything seems to be as dark as the deepest sea and every time I try to think of a way out, it just looks ``impossible`` or I don`t understand why certain things are happening and why do I have to deal with certain battles in my life. (just like all of us). And then, ``out of the blue`` something happens, a new door opens, a stranger comes into your life and helps you out, an angel perhaps? Or maybe this is the result of a good action that we did in the past or not too long ago? Or perhaps it`s thanks to the duaa (prayers and supplications) of our parents, grandparents and our loves ones? Regardless of all this, it`s all with the blessings and plans which God has chosen for us.

In the pas days, weeks and up to yesterday, every time I faced a hardship, I was greeted but with a smile and a solution popped out of nowhere. Just to name a FEW examples:

Like in the weekend when I forgot my phone and metro card at home. Once inside the bus, I realized that I didn`t even have coins to pay. I look at the driver and say: `` Good morning sir, i`m sorry I forgot my phone and tickets and card at home, my mom (who`s with me) will pay for both of us.`` He smiles, he blocked the machine with his hand and didn`t let us pay. He said: ``Please Madame, because you`ve been honest with me and told the truth, I really want to pay for you this time. I kindly refused and said: ``We have the money right here we can pay, thank you``. He insisted, we thanked him for his act of kindness and that made our day.

Or like the day I went to a coffee shop and after I placed my order, the cashier said: `` That`s OK madame, someone already paid for you.`` and I kept searching trying to find WHO did it so I can thank him or her.  

Or In the middle of an important battle with all the stress and pain that comes with it, I had no other solution but to give up to my ``fate`` and simply get ready and be prepared to ``fight`` and to be mentally prepared to lose and to survive. Winning this battle in particular seemed impossible. And again, out of the blue, I don`t know what happened exactly until this day, but everything stopped and therefore, the battle too stopped.

Yesterday evening, I was talking with my family about the conditions and procedures of paying my Zakat (Zakat Al Maal) which is (alms-giving) that I must pay for this year. I wanted my mom`s opinion on where should my zakat go this year? We both agreed that I should send it back home for a specific young lady and her family. Converting the money from Canadian Dollar to Egyptian pound, it`s quite an important amount, and I was so happy AlHamdolellah (All praise to God) that this could really change the life of an entire family (InshaAllah – with the Will of God). So after we agreed on everything and I said `` Tawakal 3ala Allah`` ( I put my trust and reliance in Allah), I heard many beeps on my phone, one after the other. (notifications that i`m receiving e-mails).

I ran to my laptop saying to myself, there must be a mistake. Who`s sending me alllllll these emails??? I just had received 12 new emails from work! I thought to myself: This IS a VIRUS. This has never happened ever since I worked with this agency. So I call the secretary and ask him: what`s going on? Is this real or it`s a virus? He laughs and says: No no Nermine this is not a virus, you`ve been chosen the best interpreter of the year (giggles). Then he explains that I have indeed received TWELVE new demands (twelve individual contracts) for Interpretation!!!  He explained that I will be receiving 5 more!

I was in awe!

Do you know what`s even more beautiful and surprising? When I added up all the new Interpretation demands I just received, I swear by He who created the Moon and the Sun and that was very much equal to the Zakat that I was discussing with my family less than 5 minutes ago!!! So the amount that i just gave up for the sake of God to help another, came back to me less than 5 minutes later. SubhanAllah.

 I share this long introduction and story (among many others) with you, because I want you too, to put ALL your TRUST (Tawakul) in God. Trust Him with everything, anywhere and at all times. Acts of kindness, helping the other and believing  in His words and promises  will always pay back.

Give Zakat no matter what is your situation. Don`t you ever think that you will get poorer by giving. Don’t  think of tomorrow which is not here yet.

I pray for you and me, that we always find refuge in Him. That we always find someone around us to lift us up and to serve as a ``Reminder`` that the Mercy of God is GREAT and ETERNAL.

Walk in Peace,

Nermine.

Don't wait to smile ...

When you find the strength to smile after each storm;
When you smile under the rain and in the middle of the darkness;
Over the phone or behind a closed door.
When you smile although your body is aching;
And even when your soul is confused and lost.
When you smile during your weakest moments;
On your knees or in your torments …
When you smile and your heart is bleeding;

Your tears are falling;

When you smile in the face of your brother or sister in humanity;

And even in the face of the one who inflicted you with pain;

When you smile to a stranger, to an orphan, to the needy and weak;
Even though your own Self needs a pat on the shoulder or a hug.
And after all this, if your smile shakes mountains, brings sunshine and makes someone else’s day;
Regardless of your own challenges and fights;
Know that your smile is a symbol of courage, strength, charity, kindness and hope.

Do not wait for happiness to knock on your door in order for you to smile.
Smile anyway, smile now. Happiness and peace are on their way.  

Keep smiling,  

Keep inspiring.

Walk in peace,

Nermine

(Im)Perfect

I’m perfectly imperfect

And I’m perfect in my imperfection.

I rejoice in the perfection of the Creator,

And I find refuge in the perfection of the Universe.

I don’t have to apologize for my imperfections.

I do not have to change I’m imperfections to perfect,

Neither do I have to perfect in order to “please”.

I’m perfectly comfortable in my imperfections.

Humane; I’m capable to see the perfection in the imperfection of the other,

To accept it and to life with it …

As long as these perfections or imperfections,

Do not lead us to a war or to a “Quest for Perfection”.

Your perfectly imperfect,

Nermine.

Photo source: http://cdn.tinybuddha.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/03/Imperfection.jpg

Im-parfaite

Je suis parfaitement imparfaite

Et je suis parfaite dans mon imperfection.

Je me jouis de la perfection du Créateur

Et je trouve refuge dans la perfection de l’univers.

Je n’ai pas à m’excuser pour mes imperfections.

Je n’ai pas à changer mes imperfections pour parfaire,

Ou pour perfectionner afin de « plaire ».

Je suis parfaitement confortable dans mes imperfections.

Humaine, je suis capable de voir la perfection dans l’imperfection de l’autre,

de l’accepter et de vivre avec …

tant que ces perfections ou imperfections,

nous ne mènent pas vers une guerre et vers « une quête de La Perfection ».

Votre parfaitement imparfaite,

Nermine



Source photo: http://img.mota.ru/upload/wallpapers/2012/01/19/18/00/29531/ChDsonTvQo-preview.jpg

When your own father is a bully and when Obesity is a crime.

10 years ago, when I started working as a cultural Interpreter in Social work and Health care, I’ve had the honour to work with hundreds of parents and children from the Arabic community.  Some families I have worked with for years and others I have met only once. I have witnessed endless stories and testimonials, some were happy stories but most of them were extremely sad, painful and too choking to believe that such atrocities exist (even in our own community).

One evening, I was called to meet a teenager and her mom. When I walked in the office, the young lady was seated with her hands around her waist. She was very beautiful, calm and polite. She tried to hide her pain behind a smile but I already knew that it won’t last much before her sad eyes let her tears wash her pale face.  Half her face was covered with her long blond hair and with the other eye, she looked at me and with a shaking voice she started relating what had happened to her.

“I was eating pie and my father tried to choke me […]”.

The only “crime” of this smart and beautiful young lady is the size of her body and her sweet tooth. On that day, when Layal came back home from school, she sat at the table and was eating pie. Her father came back earlier than expected. He opened the door and the first thing he saw is his daughter eating that pie. He got very angry and lost his temper.  He ran to her and instead of using his hands and arms to hug his girl, he actually started shocking her. Mom who was busy in the other room heard her daughter’s battle trying to physically escape from her own father. Mom came to the rescue and the young lady came to us seeking help and not wanting to ever go back home.

People need to be aware that bullying doesn’t happen only in schools and at work place. Bullying happens even in our homes. Layal was bullied by her father and abused emotionally, psychologically and physically. She was constantly humiliated and reminded of how “fat and obese” she is. He would tell her things like: “Look at yourself. Look in the mirror; can’t you see how ugly you are? How fat you are? Who’s going to look at you?  You will never find love. You will never achieve much with this body”. Layal was scared to eat in front of her father. She would eat only when he’s not around. Sometimes, she would lock herself in her room to eat.

When you love someone and care for them, you should never put them down or humiliate them. The wisest thing to do in a similar situation is perhaps to ask yourself many questions as a parent who sees changes In their children. Find solutions together. Observe, listen more and talk less. Be patient, gentle and kind. You should encourage your kids to feel good about themselves and to live a healthier lifestyle by making changes to your diet as a family, by doing more activities together. Go out together for a long walk, for a hike or even join a gym with your kid and do things together to not make the other feel as an outsider or as the one who has a problem. You should be a role model to your family and a leader; not a bully or the abuser.

To anyone who actually “dares” to tell another person: “Look at yourself in the mirror, look at how fat you are”; I would strongly encourage you to look at yourself in the mirror and reflect on the ugliness and the cruelty of your own words.

I’m sure that many people (men and women, girls and boys) will recognise themselves in this story. Sadly we are living in a society that has an extreme opinion and views about beauty and looks. What most people do not understand is that anyone who’s suffering from their weight issues are indeed “suffering”, they are dealing with many issues, some are depressed, others are abused, some are lonely and isolated, others are seen as failures, others have mental health issues, some have some serious health issues and problems with their self-esteem .... and the reasons are just too many.  Thousands if not millions are suffering of bulimia, of different eating disorders such as emotional or compulsive eating. At one point in my life,until very recently, me too, I was an emotional eater. In the middle of my own storm and struggles, I found “comfort” in food. But shortly after  this feeling of satisfaction is quickly replaced by guilt and sickness. Not everyone is lucky enough to open their eyes and realize what’s happening to them. So bullying my friends, (even those “innocent” comments and looks) that we sometime throw at the other about their looks, isn’t helping at all!

Rest assured, that  no one, no one wants or wishes to be overweight. All they want, is some respect, understanding, love and support. If you can’t do any of this to help the other, then I beg you, to remain silent and far away.

Note: To protect the teenager's identity, I used a fictional name.  

Walk in peace,

Nermine Barbouch